If there's one thing I have a hard time learning, it's to STOP setting expectations!!!! URGG!!
I had plans of getting up a little earlier to go to the 9am service at church (usually go at 11am). Well, those Bloody Mary's knocked me out a little too much, I woke up at 8:59am! So! I made the best of it and while ALL the boys were still sleeping, I snuck out to the pool side and laid in a chair and read my chapter for the day. Love Is Responsible. My dare was to take time to pray through my areas of wrongdoing. ask for God's forgiveness, then humble myself enough to admit it to my spouse. Then, I'm suppose to ask for his forgiveness, no matter how he reacts. The fact that I'm an open book, and that Alex doesn't like to hear about anything to do with my life before him, this poses to be either an extreme challenge or an unnecessary dare. The good thing is that I have nothing that I have done "wrong" in my relationship with Alex, that deems forgiveness. Of course I've done things that aren't necessarily "right", but NEVER anything WRONG!!!!
So, it is Mother's Day today! Funny, we started out a few weeks ago, Alex asking me if we wanted to take off for a couple of days and go to Arizona for Mother's Day. Sounded good to me! Then I thought about the kids and how difficult it would be to go that far in the car, since our movie player in the car is broke! Ick! Then we said maybe we'd go to Catalina! That would be fun! Rent the golf cart, cruise around the island! Well, Alex checked the boat times and knowing US, wasn't going to happen! (left too early!) So, he tells me we should do Newport Beach/Balboa Island. Okay, that sounds fine. I just wanted to relax at a beach, didn't really care where. So, we invited my sister Lauren, whose girls were out of town, picked her up around noon and headed to the OC. We were cruising down the freeway until Corona where the traffic STOPPED! UGGGG!!! The kids hate traffic, I hate traffic and traffic takes SO MUCH TIME!!!.
1 and 1/2 hours later, we arrived on the Toll Road headed toward the beach. Alex decided we'd cut short our Newport drive and do Laguna for lunch. Good idea, until we got to the 2 lane road to Laguna. MORE TRAFFICE! WAAAAA!!! Oh well, we finally arrived, went to an okay restaurant that did have a nice patio. Had a funny European lunch because everyone sitting around us was from Europe!! Lots of "where are you from" conversation! :)
After lunch we all went to get caramel apples!! yummmy!!! We sat on the grass and enjoyed!
Then Alex said, "let's go to Newport now"... that would have sounded good, except I couldn't bare the thought of MORE TRAFFIC!! Driving to Newport wasn't THAT bad, but it was another drive!!!! Oh well... the family is together and that's all that matters... right? NOT that it's Mother's day and I haven't done 1 thing I want or enjoy yet? I guess a true mother is unselfish and does what her husband and kids want to do, right? Still smiling, we headed to Newport. Next question, do I still want to go to Balboa or just to the beach? I said just to the beach! After all, it was already 430 and we'd done nothing but eat and drive. Well, that didn't quite happen either. All of a sudden, there we were, in line for the Balboa Island Ferry! Okay, fun for the kids, but the LINE!!! Next thing I know, Alex takes the boys out and leaves me and Lauren to wait in the line for the Ferry! 6 ferries later, we finally boarded!! We made it across and he almost turned into the fun park when I spoke up, "You guys can go, but I'd like to be dropped at the beach please". So, we all went to the beach at 5pm while the sun was setting and the wind was BLOWING!!! Stayed until a lovely 630 and then decided to get dinner before heading home. I spotted a cool looking Japanese restaurant overlooking the marina. Reluctantly, Alex pulled in and let me have my way. The place was amazing. 2 story restaurant with modern atmosphere, but beach casual. Turns out the food was amazing, even Alex attested!! YAY! I got to end on a "ME" note! ;) Drive home was fine and got a great night sleep! Next year, I'll look forward to NOTHING, then I will be so excited to do what ever Alex feels to do! :) Is that a brat of me? Okay, Love Dare, I forgive him and love him and realize he had a day off with his family, so he wanted to do something that he'd enjoy! I hope he did! :) xoxo
Monday, May 11, 2009
Saturday night...
Saturday I got so much and nothing done! Have you ever had that feeling? It was a great lazy day but I did get several things done. The bulk of my efforts were the later part of the afternoon, but I have to admit. The first part of the day, I lost working on this darn computer! How time flys when you're on the computer doesn't it? I don't understand it. One minute I look down and the computer clock says 11:30am and the next time POOF! 3 hours has gone by and it's 2:30pm!! I have to pat myself on the back, okay, well, I guess it's all how you see it... my boys were home but I almost forgot for that 3 hours because they didn't come to me once, nor did they make a peep! Now some would wonder what they were getting into that whole time. Nothing... the babysitter/Wii had their attention for 3 hours!! Batman is for ages 10 and up, my kids are almost 4 and 6 and a 1/2! They have mastered this game like nobody's business! It's crazy to me, their ability to figure it out! That's the other side of it, you may say, no pat on the back! Your kids were glued to a video game for 3 hours... I call this empowering them to entertain themselves. When my head finally got out of the computer trap and I went out to see them, they were eating cereal but there were Tuna remains on the table. When asked, they acted like I was silly, "Mom! Can't you tell, we ate Tuna!" Totally fed themselves, entertained themselves and didn't argue... I SAY BIG PAT ON THE BACK!!! :) Hahaha! Well, I was proud of them anyways.
But, it was time for me to shut down the computer, put my wheels on and boogie through the house! Alex can't come home and think I did NOTHING all day!!! Although, sometimes I feel like "WHO CARES IF I DO NOTHING" sometimes!!! Guess my guilt comes from the fact that he never gets to do "NOTHING", so I feel I shouldn't either! Hmmmm, gotta get over that, hu? ;)
At about 4 o'clock, I was pretty well done with my clean up around the house... thank goodness cuz my hubby walked in! We all hung for a bit and then I had to get ready for work! We both did, actually. So we did, both get ready and the babysitter arrived just in time for us to leave.
Work was not very busy. First night back for Gina, so that was fun! We planned to go to Gourmet after work and have a drink and relax with the guys. We got to head over earlier then we planned and that was nice! I called my sister Lauren to meet up with us and she decided she would. I was glad, hadn't hung with her in a while! So, she showed up after a bit and then coinsidently, our friends Jamey and Tammy showed up! Actually, we think they were out for a date, but we changed those plans quickly, cuz we all joined them at a table! It was a fun, relaxing, social night. Alex was "on" which is always great! Bloody Mary's for me, wine for the rest of em... great food and awesome people! The perfect night!
Later in the night, a gal shows up with her sax. She had played at Thorton earlier and offered to join Randy and the Associates and play a little for us... she is a young, attractive, hispanic girl who you would never guess would blow your socks off! She was amazing!!! We were all floored by her ability and "coolness"!! We enjoyed her for a while and then, the night slowly ended. It was lovely and perfect! Headed home, 3 Bloody Mary's later and slept like a baby!!!
But, it was time for me to shut down the computer, put my wheels on and boogie through the house! Alex can't come home and think I did NOTHING all day!!! Although, sometimes I feel like "WHO CARES IF I DO NOTHING" sometimes!!! Guess my guilt comes from the fact that he never gets to do "NOTHING", so I feel I shouldn't either! Hmmmm, gotta get over that, hu? ;)
At about 4 o'clock, I was pretty well done with my clean up around the house... thank goodness cuz my hubby walked in! We all hung for a bit and then I had to get ready for work! We both did, actually. So we did, both get ready and the babysitter arrived just in time for us to leave.
Work was not very busy. First night back for Gina, so that was fun! We planned to go to Gourmet after work and have a drink and relax with the guys. We got to head over earlier then we planned and that was nice! I called my sister Lauren to meet up with us and she decided she would. I was glad, hadn't hung with her in a while! So, she showed up after a bit and then coinsidently, our friends Jamey and Tammy showed up! Actually, we think they were out for a date, but we changed those plans quickly, cuz we all joined them at a table! It was a fun, relaxing, social night. Alex was "on" which is always great! Bloody Mary's for me, wine for the rest of em... great food and awesome people! The perfect night!
Later in the night, a gal shows up with her sax. She had played at Thorton earlier and offered to join Randy and the Associates and play a little for us... she is a young, attractive, hispanic girl who you would never guess would blow your socks off! She was amazing!!! We were all floored by her ability and "coolness"!! We enjoyed her for a while and then, the night slowly ended. It was lovely and perfect! Headed home, 3 Bloody Mary's later and slept like a baby!!!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Love vs. Lust
Today was a busy but good day! I had my Mother's Day Tea at Luca's school at 9:30am and they had muffins and juice for us. They had 3 poems that were really sweet and they made us a card, each with their own words. Luca is so sensitive and sweet. His said that I was a nice and beautiful mom and he loved me. With their finger tips, they made petals to a flower on a piece of tile that said I love you Mom, Luca, 09. It has a ribbon for me to hang it and Luca suggested I hang it in my bedroom, perfect idea! After Luca's tea, Logan and I jetted to his school for the same thing. Logan invited me into the class with a rose and walked me to a chair. With his entire hand in his mouth from embarrassment, I watched him gather his courage to begin singing the songs he had been practicing. Keeping his eyes on the classmates right next to him, he followed their lead as they did the hand motions to the song. When they got to "M-O-M-M-Y", he was good! He had that down pat! Then he offered me my cookie and tea and a great big hug and kiss! What a great morning for a MOM!
After the special Mom moments, off to work I went. Tammi and Alex were there to greet me and Tammi had me rolling because she was there at 11, while Alex, who was "opening" for me got there 15 minutes late. Tammi jumped right into the server roll as a table of 3 sat and began to ask her a ton of questions she had no clue about. After all, she's our PR gal, early to meet with me, not a server at the Spuntino. She is a trooper though! She covers like a pro! She actually likes "working" there! I took over, a not too busy lunch and was able to do a little on the computer while helping the couple tables I had. Breanna showed up and took over the tables and Tammi kept my attention focused on getting the last little things we needed done for our PR packets. At 330 she left, I went to pick up Luca and came back. I blogged a bit then Vanessa showed up with Logan to take Luca. I was going to a benefit for All About Kids put on by Luca's next year teacher and friends of mine, Rob and Trish Shea. Michelle met me at Spuntino and when we got in the car to leave, I decided I needed hairspray to complete my "freshening up". With CVS right there, we stopped and got me spray and Michelle body spray. Now, we were ready to roll!
The event was nice, there were a lot of people from the school. There were about 50 baskets in the silent auction to bid on. I bid on 3: a photography session with Prema, a TECHNO KIT and a Dog House with stuff. I usually do one bid on each thing I like and don't look again. If i win something, great, if I'm outbid, good for the organization! This time for some reason, after we ate, I went out to check. I'm outbid on Prema, then I go to the Techno Kit, outbid. Then to the Dog Stuff, and of course, NOT OUTBID! Oh great! $90 on Dog Stuff that I don't need because it's only enough for 1 dog and I have 3!!! I placed another bid on the Techno stuff because I saw what was in it... Microsoft Office, Vista, 2 flash drives, 120GB external memory, wireless mouse and some HP wear. The value was $963.37 and my second bid was $200. I was going to buy Office and the price was almost $300!!! This, my friends, was a great deal!! I kept watching the dog stuff and NO ONE was outbidding me! Oh great! I get home and tell Alex I spent $300 and it included DOG STUFF??? NOT GONNA FLY!!! What was I thinking???? Sometimes I JUST DON'T!! The speaker calls 2 minutes left for the silent auction... no one, no one, oh no!!!! My Techno is safe too... that's great, but so many people do that last minute OUTBID... hope it happens on the dog stuff, but not my PROGRAMS!!! I turn away for a second and the call is made.... "bids are now closed"! So I go over to check my bids, Techno is MINE!! Yay!! And low and behold... a last minute save! OUTBID on the dog stuff!!! Fhew!!! That was a close one!
The more I realized what I got for my $200, the more others did too!! I don't believe people really understood what was in this basket!!! I know Alex will be proud!
We stayed a bit, watching everyone dance. It was fun, but for some reason, I wasn't all over the dancing. I love to dance, just wasn't in the mood I guess. I kept an eye on the time, not to push it with Alex. He is supportive until I carry things out MUCH longer then necessary and he has to feel like I'd rather stay where I am then come see him. Perfect timing! I arrived at Gourmet and he was happy to see me, asked me about the event, was happy for my purchase and we all WON! :)
OOOOOHHHHH.... this chapter's goooooood.....
Here's my notes from this chapter....
There's a gentle progression of infidelity and it goes like this... eyes, heart, action. BEWARE!
"We have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either" Having the basic food and clothing, we should be "content". yet, we aren't if we don't have God. We have emptiness that we don't understand so we try to fill it with things that don't work such as pornography, money, "things". Pornographic images are designed to FEEL like a real person. (They are not) Have you ever told your child or yourself that a movie isn't real? Same.
Lust is the opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. To expose lust is to see it for what it really is - a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill!
Lust is the best the world has to offer, but LOVE offers you the best life in the WORLD! AMEN!
Dare: End it now, identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Destroy your object of LUST and fill it with God's perfect LOVE!
I'm all over this one! :)
After the special Mom moments, off to work I went. Tammi and Alex were there to greet me and Tammi had me rolling because she was there at 11, while Alex, who was "opening" for me got there 15 minutes late. Tammi jumped right into the server roll as a table of 3 sat and began to ask her a ton of questions she had no clue about. After all, she's our PR gal, early to meet with me, not a server at the Spuntino. She is a trooper though! She covers like a pro! She actually likes "working" there! I took over, a not too busy lunch and was able to do a little on the computer while helping the couple tables I had. Breanna showed up and took over the tables and Tammi kept my attention focused on getting the last little things we needed done for our PR packets. At 330 she left, I went to pick up Luca and came back. I blogged a bit then Vanessa showed up with Logan to take Luca. I was going to a benefit for All About Kids put on by Luca's next year teacher and friends of mine, Rob and Trish Shea. Michelle met me at Spuntino and when we got in the car to leave, I decided I needed hairspray to complete my "freshening up". With CVS right there, we stopped and got me spray and Michelle body spray. Now, we were ready to roll!
The event was nice, there were a lot of people from the school. There were about 50 baskets in the silent auction to bid on. I bid on 3: a photography session with Prema, a TECHNO KIT and a Dog House with stuff. I usually do one bid on each thing I like and don't look again. If i win something, great, if I'm outbid, good for the organization! This time for some reason, after we ate, I went out to check. I'm outbid on Prema, then I go to the Techno Kit, outbid. Then to the Dog Stuff, and of course, NOT OUTBID! Oh great! $90 on Dog Stuff that I don't need because it's only enough for 1 dog and I have 3!!! I placed another bid on the Techno stuff because I saw what was in it... Microsoft Office, Vista, 2 flash drives, 120GB external memory, wireless mouse and some HP wear. The value was $963.37 and my second bid was $200. I was going to buy Office and the price was almost $300!!! This, my friends, was a great deal!! I kept watching the dog stuff and NO ONE was outbidding me! Oh great! I get home and tell Alex I spent $300 and it included DOG STUFF??? NOT GONNA FLY!!! What was I thinking???? Sometimes I JUST DON'T!! The speaker calls 2 minutes left for the silent auction... no one, no one, oh no!!!! My Techno is safe too... that's great, but so many people do that last minute OUTBID... hope it happens on the dog stuff, but not my PROGRAMS!!! I turn away for a second and the call is made.... "bids are now closed"! So I go over to check my bids, Techno is MINE!! Yay!! And low and behold... a last minute save! OUTBID on the dog stuff!!! Fhew!!! That was a close one!
The more I realized what I got for my $200, the more others did too!! I don't believe people really understood what was in this basket!!! I know Alex will be proud!
We stayed a bit, watching everyone dance. It was fun, but for some reason, I wasn't all over the dancing. I love to dance, just wasn't in the mood I guess. I kept an eye on the time, not to push it with Alex. He is supportive until I carry things out MUCH longer then necessary and he has to feel like I'd rather stay where I am then come see him. Perfect timing! I arrived at Gourmet and he was happy to see me, asked me about the event, was happy for my purchase and we all WON! :)
OOOOOHHHHH.... this chapter's goooooood.....
Here's my notes from this chapter....
There's a gentle progression of infidelity and it goes like this... eyes, heart, action. BEWARE!
"We have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either" Having the basic food and clothing, we should be "content". yet, we aren't if we don't have God. We have emptiness that we don't understand so we try to fill it with things that don't work such as pornography, money, "things". Pornographic images are designed to FEEL like a real person. (They are not) Have you ever told your child or yourself that a movie isn't real? Same.
Lust is the opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. To expose lust is to see it for what it really is - a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill!
Lust is the best the world has to offer, but LOVE offers you the best life in the WORLD! AMEN!
Dare: End it now, identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Destroy your object of LUST and fill it with God's perfect LOVE!
I'm all over this one! :)
Somehow I got mixed up...
I am doing this Love Dare daily, but I must have missed one previously! Sorry, Anyhow, I'll catch you up now...
DAY 23
Love Always Protects
The sentences I underlined in this chapter:
Your mate and your marriage need your constant protection from things like:
Harmful Influences - work schedules that keep you separated from each other for unhealthy amounts of time.
Unhealthy relationships - be on guard at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships at work, the gym, or even the church to draw you emotionally away from the one to whom you've already given your heart.
Shame - protect your wife or husbands vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public.
My dare: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
I need to think about what that might be for me... not sure at this time, but it could be my desire to "play" or "party"... not heavy but I love to go out and Alex doesn't or has to work... I need to think about what is okay and what I should pass on...
DAY 23
Love Always Protects
The sentences I underlined in this chapter:
Your mate and your marriage need your constant protection from things like:
Harmful Influences - work schedules that keep you separated from each other for unhealthy amounts of time.
Unhealthy relationships - be on guard at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships at work, the gym, or even the church to draw you emotionally away from the one to whom you've already given your heart.
Shame - protect your wife or husbands vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public.
My dare: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
I need to think about what that might be for me... not sure at this time, but it could be my desire to "play" or "party"... not heavy but I love to go out and Alex doesn't or has to work... I need to think about what is okay and what I should pass on...
Thursday's Dare....
Sorry, I forgot the title of the dare yesterday! Okay, It was Love is Faithful! I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord. --Hosea 2:20.
Here's what the Dare says:
"Love is a choice, not a feeling.
It is an initiated action, not a kneww-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in recieveing it. Say to them today in workds similar to these, "I love you. Period. I chosse to love you even if you don't love me in return.""
Without saying these exact words, I showed with my reaction. I showed Alex, when he didn't consider how he was acting towards me, because of circumstances unrelated to me, that even though he made the wrong choice in his treatment, I loved him. Wouldn't you know I got an, "I'm sorry and thank you" because of how I handled it! This book teaches us to be unselfish, think unselfish and love unselfish. It is an amazing tool for your life, if you are ready and willing!
Here's what the Dare says:
"Love is a choice, not a feeling.
It is an initiated action, not a kneww-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in recieveing it. Say to them today in workds similar to these, "I love you. Period. I chosse to love you even if you don't love me in return.""
Without saying these exact words, I showed with my reaction. I showed Alex, when he didn't consider how he was acting towards me, because of circumstances unrelated to me, that even though he made the wrong choice in his treatment, I loved him. Wouldn't you know I got an, "I'm sorry and thank you" because of how I handled it! This book teaches us to be unselfish, think unselfish and love unselfish. It is an amazing tool for your life, if you are ready and willing!
Friday, May 8, 2009
As the list grows...
I decided to make a list of all things that had to be done... in the near future... I think I thought it would help me to feel more organized and be able to get things done quickly and efficiantly. Well, let's just say that it in turn, overwhelmed me even more!!!
My staff is a little "short" right now at the pizzeria, so I get to work ALL DAY!!!! Good stuff goin on!
Not to eventful for you, since I just worked all day, but I did get to see my Gina! She didn't get the message that I had someone to come in for her (although i NEVER expected her to come in, she had a pre op for her DNC at 230!), so she showed up in uniform... no makeup from the tears she was crying. We gave eachother a big hug and we talked more about what the doc told her. Surgery set for tomorrow 1230. She hadn't had her "first" glass of wine yet, so I offered her one as our little "at least she can drink again" toast! ;) She didn't drink much, she helped out a couple customers and then her relief came in, so she left. It was great to be able to see her and hug her. You feel so helpless when a friend is going through something that you can't relate to, nor do anything about. I'm usually the "uplifting" friend, the one who makes you laugh in the eye of the storm, but it's difficult at times to know if that's what is needed more the ability to ball your eyes out. For me, laughter is the best medicene and I can't help but carry that over in how I deal with others. I also try to look at the bright side of everything, but death is a toughy cuz obviously it's much harder to find things to laugh about.
My dear friend, if you read this, know that you are an amazing mother and that the love that your 2 girls share will be only theirs forever now. You have 2 arms to hold each of them tightly, like only you can do... and think about the gifts you've sent to God this past year... 2 little angels, one to watch over each of your girls until the days you all meet again in Heaven! I love you....
I'll get back to you all on my Love Dare... can't remember the title and don't want to guess...
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Wednesday... different work day!
Today was a day of work, just a different kind. House work, computer work and so on! I looked forward to today, getting things done around the house and on the computer. I got my solution to my Internet problem! Verizon sent me a new wireless devise, but then I had to call and get it activated properly. Oh how these things take SOOOOO much time!! Got that done, did some laundry, picked up the house, then got a text from my friend Kim, reminding me that I agreed to go to Rotary with her today. It was 11am and Rotary was at noon. I jumped in the shower and rushed to Wilson Creek to meet Kim. Not knowing what to expect, I walked in and out of about 80 people I probably knew 65! It was a typical "meeting" and not too exciting, except when Kim and I had to stand while she introduced me as, "Charity Prestifilippo of Charity for Charity, Gourmet Italia, Spuntino Pizzeria and a Rotary Renegade (from the basketball game). It was very sweet of her to acknowledge me and invite me. It was a nice time and an opportunity to get to hang with her which I haven't got to do much. I had to jet early because Luca had modified day, getting out at 120. I grabbed him and we headed home. I got more laundry done and worked on a Sicilian wine list with map for Gourmet. It came out nice... but needs it's final approval... the big boss... we'll see!
Speaking of the big boss, he called me from a 5 hour deposition to tell me he wouldn't be back to work in time to relieve Nora, the server, so to work it out for him. I had to go down to get Logan anyways, so I went down to be the in between. In my sun dress and flip flops, there's never any customer at that time. I figured I could play on Alex's computer and Luca could goof off. I walked in to a table with a lady by herself... okay, I can do that. I will just explain to her why I was dressed that way. Well, they kept coming in... uh oh! Now what???? Good thing, Alex showed up before I got too deep! He came in singing, so I handed the tables off to him. Well, from the outside, he seemed fine. I should have known after 5 hours of grilling deposition, having to come right in to 3 tables without getting a break for lunch, cigarette or to pee, he would have been a little put off. That wasn't the only upsetting stuff for him, there was no tomatoes for sauce and I had a "sun dress" on looking like life was so easy for me. Well, he should be happy for me, but it's hard. It's the natural reaction to feel jealous on top of frustrated about the prior incidences. Not right, but natural... he acted out on me for no apparent reason. I left feeling irritated, unjust, angry and resentful. I attempted to call a friend to talk me through and then I stopped to pray. I needed to handle this the way I had learned in this first 20 days of the Love Dare. God gave me the ability to think straight, about how he would love through this and I was able to get a grip, forgive and then I texted him a simple message, "I'm sorry for your frustration, if I could take your place sometimes, I would". Then I texted that I would wait up for him and try to help relieve some stress when he got home. My response from him was, "I'm sorry and thank you". There you go.... thank you Love Dare, thank you GOD!
Today is Love Always Protects. The dare is to remove anything that is hindering our relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing my attention. This will take some time to think through because my first response is work because that steals the most of our together time... but is that possible when you own your own business? Intending to sell is our attempt to eliminate this distraction and get more time together... we need to continue to pray for this to happen!
Speaking of the big boss, he called me from a 5 hour deposition to tell me he wouldn't be back to work in time to relieve Nora, the server, so to work it out for him. I had to go down to get Logan anyways, so I went down to be the in between. In my sun dress and flip flops, there's never any customer at that time. I figured I could play on Alex's computer and Luca could goof off. I walked in to a table with a lady by herself... okay, I can do that. I will just explain to her why I was dressed that way. Well, they kept coming in... uh oh! Now what???? Good thing, Alex showed up before I got too deep! He came in singing, so I handed the tables off to him. Well, from the outside, he seemed fine. I should have known after 5 hours of grilling deposition, having to come right in to 3 tables without getting a break for lunch, cigarette or to pee, he would have been a little put off. That wasn't the only upsetting stuff for him, there was no tomatoes for sauce and I had a "sun dress" on looking like life was so easy for me. Well, he should be happy for me, but it's hard. It's the natural reaction to feel jealous on top of frustrated about the prior incidences. Not right, but natural... he acted out on me for no apparent reason. I left feeling irritated, unjust, angry and resentful. I attempted to call a friend to talk me through and then I stopped to pray. I needed to handle this the way I had learned in this first 20 days of the Love Dare. God gave me the ability to think straight, about how he would love through this and I was able to get a grip, forgive and then I texted him a simple message, "I'm sorry for your frustration, if I could take your place sometimes, I would". Then I texted that I would wait up for him and try to help relieve some stress when he got home. My response from him was, "I'm sorry and thank you". There you go.... thank you Love Dare, thank you GOD!
Today is Love Always Protects. The dare is to remove anything that is hindering our relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing my attention. This will take some time to think through because my first response is work because that steals the most of our together time... but is that possible when you own your own business? Intending to sell is our attempt to eliminate this distraction and get more time together... we need to continue to pray for this to happen!
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