Catch up...

I am a first time blogger who is a bit clueless as to the world of "blogging"... so here goes nothing!

You'll learn that I LOVE explaination points and elips...!!!! :) OH! And smiliy faces!! ;)

Someday I will fill you in on my entire life's history... but today, i'm going to start by catching you up to my past week!

You should know who I am and who "we" are:

I am Charity, 35 (until May 2nd!) born and raised in America. My husband, on the other hand, (Alex) was born and raised in Sicily, Italy. I will get to the point of this! :) We have 3 children. Our oldest is Alex's daughter and she's 21, then we have 2 boys together 6 and 3 1/2. We live in Temecula, California. We own 2 Italian restaurants and a Pizzeria. I have a charity that I started a couple of years ago with a group of my closest girlfriends. With this few sentence paragraph you begin to understand me and the life that I must lead!

Without getting in to my past at this point, let me just say that an American woman, married to a Sicilian man takes the whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. Culture, roles of the husband and wife and the languge/communication are all challenges we deal with on top of an "ABOVE AVERAGE" busy life and now, this struggling economy.

All this to say, that we needed a little assistance in managing our relationship. Simply "existing" just isn't enough for 2 hard headed, passionate people who desire love and "happily ever after".

So! A week ago, my father told me about this incredible movie he watched that had a book to go with it. The name of the movie was "Fireproof". It was about a firefighter and his fight for his marriage. The book was the follow up to the movie, but was actually the basis of the entire movie. Monday night, Alex, myself and the boys took the only night we had together to sit and watch this gift from my daddy.

Throughout the entire movie, we were touched by the abundance of wonderful messages of relationships and committment. My 6 year old even had tears in his eyes as he was touched by the outcome of the movie. The very next day, I started the 40 day committment of "The Love Dare".

Tuesday, the first day, was "Love is Patient" and it dared me to refrain from ALL negative comments for the entire day. WOW! Do you realize how many times I had to catch myself??? I didn't even realize I could be so "negative", my friends would tell you otherwise... "how can you always be so positive and happy, Charity" is what I hear from them... but my husband would express different... that is what the first day showed me! That with him, it was so easy for me to be negative! :( Alex didn't notice that I refrained, but it made an impact on me at the end of day 1.

Day 2 is "Love is Kind" and you are dared to do something nice for your spouse. Well, in the movie, the wife responded disgusted and blew her husband off. Funny, same thing happened to ME!!!! Good thing is that I prepared myself to deal with the response, how ever bad it may be. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt, but at least it didn't "kill me" as it would have if I hadn't been coached by this book!

Day 3, "Love is not selfish"... WELL... how this book sets you straight! I am always after Alex about how selfish he is... well, this book puts the mirror right in front of you and humbles you. The dare is to buy something for your spouse to show them you are thinking of them. Well, that was a challenge for me since my husband buys himself everything he wants and he doesn't have many hobby's or interests to buy for, nor would he appreciate flowers as I would. I ended up getting him a work out outfit, since he is starting to work out again and a cover for his iPhone that I know he would like. I had my nanny drop it off to him at work. We bothed worked that night, so I stopped by on my way home to where he was working and asked him if we wanted to go for a cocktail with me. He was too tired, but did acknowledge at that moment that he realized what I was doing. With a smile and open heart, he let me know he was receiving it well. How could he not? I had committed to 40 days of proving my love to him!!!

Yesterday was day 4. This is the day of "Love is Thoughtful" and dares you to call your spouse and let them know that you're thinking of them and ask them if they need anything. Well, we were together most of the day, so calling out of the blue, wasn't appropriate, but I was able to do something for him and it blessed him!

Today... well, today brings me to a more accurate example of what my daily blog will be like. More of a "Play by Play" of my day...

I woke up this morning with a KILLER migrane. How do you do your "dare" when you feel like CRAP!?!?!? I'll tell you, as you committ to each day, your spouse will respond to you differently.... how ever that may be, it will be different from the way it was. Today proved this for me! My dare today was to ask Alex to tell me 3 things I do that bother him. The subject is "Love is not Rude".

Well, after waking up at 8am, I fell back to sleep and when Alex woke up, I was asleep on the couch. Before, this is something that would bother him. When he wakes up, he likes me to be ready for him. Undistracted and beginning to fill his needs of breakfast and attention. Well, I guess after he saw me sleeping, he went about his morning, going outside to instruct Manuel on his chores for the day and cleaning up the property, feeding the animals, etc. When I woke up, he was outside and I thought, "Oh no, he's not going to be happy", but rather then getting stressed about how he would feel, I took the "Love Dare" attitude and happily prepared breakfast, knowing he would like that. When I went out to tell him good morning and that breakfast was ready, his attitude was great and he came in pleasantly and we all sat together and had a lovely breakfast! My migrane continued to linger so I sent the boys outside with their daddy and layed down on my bed with a pillow over my head and fell asleep. I guess all the boys came back in and looked for me... Alex walked in our room and didn't even see me in bed. They hollared for almost an hour as I slept. Never getting irritated (Major shocker!), when I awoke for the second time, he simply asked where I had been. This may not mean much to those of you who do not understand a Sicilian mans "way", but believe me when i say, it's HUGE!!!

I then went down the hill and bought some In and Out and came back up to eat with my boys again in the same day... that NEVER happens, and Alex had set up a table out on the patio. The day was amazing, I was feeling a tad bit better, but the setting was enough to let me forget the pain for the 30 minutes we sat there enjoying eachothers company. It was then that I realized that our son's game time approached much more quickly then I was ready for! I jumped in the shower, threw the boys clothes on and raced down to the baseball field. Alex headed to work. I attempted to be the "Assistant Coach" that I am, but the sun and the yelling brought my migrane back almost full force. My girlfriend, whose son is on the team and husband is the head coach, offered to have me and the boys over and cook for me, so I could relax and the boys would be entertained. Since I feel very comfortable with them, I took her up on the offer. Over dinner tonight, is where I was introduced to this "Blogging" deal. After some great ibuprofen, some great homemade food and a few glasses of water, my feeling of nausia subsided and my ability to function came around about 9 o'clock. Knowing my life and all that it entails, Marija talked me into blogging my daily happenings. I felt that I could start by taking you through "The Love Dare", but believe me, that only touches on a tiny percentage of the action that happens in my life everyday! Before I wrap up today, I haven't been able to attempt my dare because my morning was a struggle and we had to leave eachother so quickly that the opportunity passed us by. My plan is to ask him when he gets home tonight, if I can stay awake until then! After all, it is a Saturday night and the restaurant is open until midnight!!! Wish me luck and GOOD NIGHT!!