perspective...

I wanted to share a perspective I got on Tuesday night... I had spend the entire day with Darlene's daughter... 
she opens up from time to time, although she likes to keep things happy, so it's not often, but when she does, it has great significance....

The time I spend with this beautiful little girl has become precious to me. I dropped her off last night, left the house, sad for the family.. even Luca expressed the sadness he felt as he looked around the house and began to imagine what it meant for them to have a life without their wife or mom. I came home, put the kids to bed and sat on my bed shedding a few tears... I then picked up my phone and texted my husband this;

Babe,
So sad. .. Couple things Darlene's daughter said today,  "I don't remember how my mom laughs" "Charity,  I'm scared" "I love you" "she's not doing good,  please come up with me to see her"
Bless her heart. 
Perspective.  
I walked in and Scott was at Darlene's side,  holding her hand and he looked up at me and said,  "its so hard to find the position to make her comfortable,  you know? "  in these moments,  he's forgotten how she bugged him or made him mad. He's forgotten the times she didn't pick up his laundry or went to lunch with her friends 2 days in a row.  What he's remembering is the day he met her,  their wedding day,  the birth of their children and how happy they were and how much he loves her.  
Life is a moment in time.  We have no idea how much of it we get.  I want to spend this life happy,  loving you for all the reasons I do and not be bothered by the small stuff.  I want to love loving you every day. I want to cherish the time with you,  time with our kids,  time with family and time with friends.  Time. ... so many meanings,  but one fact,  time is limited,  it's what we make of it. .. going through this with this family really makes me realize all of this.  What a blessing that I get to learn from them.  I love you my baby. ... I want to make sure I tell you each and every day. ... hug me tonight,  when you get in bed,  even if I'm already asleep.  I want to sleep in your arms every night I'm able to. ....

I believe in God's purpose for life and death. I believe in God's reason for taking some before others and what it is supposed to teach all of us left behind. I believe that the loss is only for those who live on after the one who passes is in an eternal state of happiness... not having lost, but gaining everything. 
I gained a clear perspective of this last night. 
It's funny, just the night before, we had a couple friends over. One called me over and asked me, "are you happy?" once I came back from being caught off guard, I was able to answer an honest "yes". She said good and that was great for her. Then I said to her, "I truly am always happy. I think there were only 3 times in my life that I could say NO to that question. Of course I have had unhappy moments, but to be in a state of unhappy... not but a maximum of about 3 times. She thought that was very fortunate of me, then she asked, "why do you think that is?" I responded that its my daily choice. I have certainly had reason to be unhappy in my lifetime and MANY more times than 3, believe me... but each day I make a choice of how I want to live and I want to live happy. I have my heavenly father who I can depend on and who loves me unconditionally, I have family and friends who are each so very special, I enjoy life by finding the good and the positive in everything and everyone. "where did you get that from?" she asked me. "My parents". Of course my love for the Lord resonates, but I get my attitude towards life from my parents and how I was raised. I was encouraged, loved, disciplined, cared for, explained to, fed compliments, but taught humbleness, taught to love others for who they are and explained why not to make fun or be mean... I was taught compassion.  
Choosing how we live our lives, while we are here is our purpose. Darlene seemed to have made the right choices of how to live her life. In this time that her life on earth is coming to an end, you see the effects of her choices to love. She loved her husband, who is right by her side, caring for her until the end. You see her choices as a mother, with the most beautiful and precious children, who love people and have fond memories with her. You see her love for her friends, who have been right there for her every step of the way, helping out in any and every way they can. Visiting her, loving her back, taking care of her and her family in every way possible. 
I admire this woman I only had the honor of knowing for a short time. I admire the legacy she is leaving behind and she encourages me to continue with my attitude towards life, and to encourage others to do the same. 
I'm thankful for Darlene and what her life represents.
When I think about how sometimes, we think we are brought into others lives for their purpose, I realize... it's not always the one's who are in pain or suffering that need us, sometimes we need them. I believe that this amazing family was purposefully placed in my life as much as I was in theirs.
Thank you Lord for this, I realize and I'm grateful.