Friday, May 31, 2013

News of another angel on her way...

Yesterday, I was honored to be asked to help with Darlene's "Celebration of Life". Most of her close friends are working at the Balloon and Wine Festival this weekend and the service is Monday morning. I met with Scott, Kim and Laura yesterday and we discussed the videos, photo boards and many other details of the celebration. I was blessed to share with each of them how special Darlene's life was and how much of an impact she's made on me and other members of Charity for Charity. Sunday, we will have Charity for Charity volunteers as well as friends of Darlene, over to my house where we will make the photo boards, create another video or 2 as well as create our own version of Brain Cancer ribbon, made out of coral ribbon, since coral is Darlene's favorite color. Monday, a team of Charity for Charity volunteers and board members will help at the service. I'm so proud of the volunteers and members of CFC and how they not only pitch in for our events, but in times of need as well.
Today brought me more sad news... a woman whom I worked with at Toyota 17 years ago, for 5 years, is passing away from Liver Disease. Diana was a riot... she had the most contagious laugh! As the years past, I got to know her kids as well... her 2 daughters worked with us. They are such sweet and wonderful girls.... my heart is aching once again, for the children and for Diana, grandchildren she is leaving behind, way too soon.
My prayers are heavy this week.... but at least I can turn to prayer.... to comfort me and give me peace and to feel like I can do a little something for these dear families whose lives are changing forever....

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Darlene is now an angel....

I have faced my share of losses over the past year or 2... temporary losses of course.
Death, passing, departure... for our simple minds... seems so permanent. I am a woman of faith, so I have no doubt that I will be with all of my loved ones who go before me, again in eternity. But how can our mortal minds wrap around that? They can't. But it seems God has designed a way for us to pass over the unexplainable idea and he helps us to carry on.
Darlene passed onto her eternal resting place yesterday afternoon. I wasn't sure, nor did I really think about what that would mean to me. Catching me a little off guard, it brought me to grave sadness. Not that I didn't think I would be sad... I knew I would. But my deepest heart saddened. My heart actually ached. Not for Darlene... I have envy for her... she's in a state of perfection, joyful and embraced by our heavenly Father. For her, I am not sad... its for her family. For her children. Luca understood this when, after he stood downstairs in the darkness of her home, waiting for me to say goodnight, he was brought to the same sadness. When we got in the car, he said, "Mom, I walked around the house.. of course, only where you told me to wait, but I walked around looking at pictures of the family and all their stuff. And I realized, this is really sad. She won't be here for Christmas. Her stocking won't be filled when Santa comes... she's going to miss their birthdays and weddings and all those things". He had a tear in his eye... he gets it... that is what is sad. No matter how much we comfort each other, the fact still remains... she is absent from this life. Absent for all the things that Mom's are there for. Absent of her physical being... but think about this...
We are merely a soul. A spirit that borrows a body. So, when that body is unable to be used any longer... doesn't the spirit still exist? Of course it does! It just doesn't have a mode of transportation! So what does that mean? It means that Darlene's spirit is still with us. It's still with her husband, it's still with her children... it's still with her friends. No, they can't hold her or see her, but she is still here. It does feel good to touch the things we love... I know... but God gave us a heart that can hold so much... our hearts can hold on to her while our bodies had to let go.... but for all those things that we think she'll be missing... she won't. she'll be right there for it all... Angels are among us, I truly believe that... and those angels are those we've physically lost and those we never knew... but they are here... watching over us until the day that God blesses us with our ticket HOME. In the bible, God tells us that we will be greeted by our loved ones when we enter the "pearly gates"... that means, when she arrived, her Father, her sister and her sister in law were those waiting to embrace her, for they lost her long before we did.
According to her daughter, Darlene said that she was looking forward to seeing her sister who was taken much too early. What a precious thought... she is now reunited with her sister whom she missed so much.
The children will need continued love and support and so will Scott.... but I know that God has a plan for all of them, to comfort and keep them and I know that Darlene will show them that she is still here with them, through signs... I get signs from my cousin/brother who passed away in November. The signs are the sweetest gifts... and treasures to bring us peace and comfort.
As the healing process begins.... I will pray for this family and the friends who have been so close through all of this....  I will be as much or as little as God wants me to be for them in the long run... I will always hold them all close in my heart.
I'm thankful that the Lord has led me to create an organization where lives can be enriched by other lives and that he can use me for his work.... Thank you to all who support Charity for Charity and may we continue to bless our community, following His lead....

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

perspective...

I wanted to share a perspective I got on Tuesday night... I had spend the entire day with Darlene's daughter... 
she opens up from time to time, although she likes to keep things happy, so it's not often, but when she does, it has great significance....

The time I spend with this beautiful little girl has become precious to me. I dropped her off last night, left the house, sad for the family.. even Luca expressed the sadness he felt as he looked around the house and began to imagine what it meant for them to have a life without their wife or mom. I came home, put the kids to bed and sat on my bed shedding a few tears... I then picked up my phone and texted my husband this;

Babe,
So sad. .. Couple things Darlene's daughter said today,  "I don't remember how my mom laughs" "Charity,  I'm scared" "I love you" "she's not doing good,  please come up with me to see her"
Bless her heart. 
Perspective.  
I walked in and Scott was at Darlene's side,  holding her hand and he looked up at me and said,  "its so hard to find the position to make her comfortable,  you know? "  in these moments,  he's forgotten how she bugged him or made him mad. He's forgotten the times she didn't pick up his laundry or went to lunch with her friends 2 days in a row.  What he's remembering is the day he met her,  their wedding day,  the birth of their children and how happy they were and how much he loves her.  
Life is a moment in time.  We have no idea how much of it we get.  I want to spend this life happy,  loving you for all the reasons I do and not be bothered by the small stuff.  I want to love loving you every day. I want to cherish the time with you,  time with our kids,  time with family and time with friends.  Time. ... so many meanings,  but one fact,  time is limited,  it's what we make of it. .. going through this with this family really makes me realize all of this.  What a blessing that I get to learn from them.  I love you my baby. ... I want to make sure I tell you each and every day. ... hug me tonight,  when you get in bed,  even if I'm already asleep.  I want to sleep in your arms every night I'm able to. ....

I believe in God's purpose for life and death. I believe in God's reason for taking some before others and what it is supposed to teach all of us left behind. I believe that the loss is only for those who live on after the one who passes is in an eternal state of happiness... not having lost, but gaining everything. 
I gained a clear perspective of this last night. 
It's funny, just the night before, we had a couple friends over. One called me over and asked me, "are you happy?" once I came back from being caught off guard, I was able to answer an honest "yes". She said good and that was great for her. Then I said to her, "I truly am always happy. I think there were only 3 times in my life that I could say NO to that question. Of course I have had unhappy moments, but to be in a state of unhappy... not but a maximum of about 3 times. She thought that was very fortunate of me, then she asked, "why do you think that is?" I responded that its my daily choice. I have certainly had reason to be unhappy in my lifetime and MANY more times than 3, believe me... but each day I make a choice of how I want to live and I want to live happy. I have my heavenly father who I can depend on and who loves me unconditionally, I have family and friends who are each so very special, I enjoy life by finding the good and the positive in everything and everyone. "where did you get that from?" she asked me. "My parents". Of course my love for the Lord resonates, but I get my attitude towards life from my parents and how I was raised. I was encouraged, loved, disciplined, cared for, explained to, fed compliments, but taught humbleness, taught to love others for who they are and explained why not to make fun or be mean... I was taught compassion.  
Choosing how we live our lives, while we are here is our purpose. Darlene seemed to have made the right choices of how to live her life. In this time that her life on earth is coming to an end, you see the effects of her choices to love. She loved her husband, who is right by her side, caring for her until the end. You see her choices as a mother, with the most beautiful and precious children, who love people and have fond memories with her. You see her love for her friends, who have been right there for her every step of the way, helping out in any and every way they can. Visiting her, loving her back, taking care of her and her family in every way possible. 
I admire this woman I only had the honor of knowing for a short time. I admire the legacy she is leaving behind and she encourages me to continue with my attitude towards life, and to encourage others to do the same. 
I'm thankful for Darlene and what her life represents.
When I think about how sometimes, we think we are brought into others lives for their purpose, I realize... it's not always the one's who are in pain or suffering that need us, sometimes we need them. I believe that this amazing family was purposefully placed in my life as much as I was in theirs.
Thank you Lord for this, I realize and I'm grateful. 

Sunday, May 26, 2013

The last days of cancer are so hard...

Just this past November, my cousin, who was basically a brother to me, passed away from his 30 year battle with cancer. I say 30 year battle because, although he was actually fighting the cancer the entire time, he battled it by changing his lifestyle completely AND by making every single choice each day to save his life. Some might have thought that he was fine or "normal"... because, from the outside, you would have never known all that he had been through and how he had to be careful in everything he did to continue living. Doctors told him at 16, that he might have a few years at most. David defied the probability and lived until the age of 49, when he was diagnosed with a severe form of cancer that spreads like wildfire... anaplastic thyroid cancer. He fought a tough fight until the bitter end. Fortunately, or unfortunately, because we lived a country apart, I wasn't able to be by his side in his last days. But my other cousins/brothers shared with me, the agony of having watch him pass.
David never married or had children. I believe he knew his life would be shorter then average and he didn't want to leave a family of his own behind. Although, he did anyways, because he reunited with his high school sweetheart who was basically married to him in the end anyways.
I know how difficult it was to loose him, for my Aunt, for his brothers, for me, for his Love, Lynda, for our entire family and his friends. All of us faith filled and at peace, knowing where he was going and how much better off he was then we all were. Pain free, suffer less, joyful, eternal. But we all still suffer the loss of his physical presence and what that means in each one of our lives...
Just as we went through the loss of this incredibly special person in our lives, many others loose the same every second of every day. This PLAGUE, called CANCER is wiping out our human race! Now, more then ever people are dying from cancer, even though, now more then ever we have research, money and cures!!! I'm beyond saddened by what I call an epidemic! But, this is life, and this is what our reality is and we need to keep our chins up and heads bowed while we continue to lean on our faith in Jesus Christ.
As President of Charity for Charity, I have had the honor of entering the lives of several people. Sick people. People who have to struggle to live every day. People who are sick, who physically are challenged, whose every day life is doctors and hospitals. We fulfill wishes for these people through our organization. We try to make a difference in the lives of these individuals and families, whether its sending them on a dream vacation with their families, offering an experience to remember forever or what ever other fantasy moment we can offer... all to lighten the load, help them forget the pain for a while, create a lifelong memory for them or their families... something they can't do for themselves... something that makes them smile!
We have succeeded in this for the past 7 years. And I want to tell you, no one gets more joy, fulfillment or humbled then our CFC team and I.
Every year, we have the joy of fulfilling wishes for at least 2 incredible people. 1 child and 1 adult are highlighted at our big benefit in February called Stars of the Valley. This past February, we had the privilege of honoring 2 very special individuals and their families.
Our child beneficiary is a little boy named, Baden, a precious 8 year old fighting his second spout of Leukemia, captured our hearts immediately.
Our adult beneficiary, Darlene, has been Temecula resident for 20+ years. She is a wife and mother of 4, who was diagnosed with brain cancer just months before the event. Darlene happened to be a dear friend to many women in this valley, many of whom I am personal friends with as well. Her and her husband had been to our restaurants and their children went to the same elementary school as my boys.
At the Stars of the Valley event, attendees were moved by Darlene's husband, Scotts' bravery to approach the podium and utilize the opportunity to thank their family, friends and community for their support. He named people individually, who had gone above and beyond and who had made a mark on their lives forever.
It was Scotts' decision to wait until absolutely necessary, to tell their 4 children of the possible ultimate diagnosis of their mommys cancer. Unlimited trips to San Diego for doctors appointments and treatments including a trial treatment gave him, and everyone, hope for a recovery and cure. It wasn't until about a week ago, that the heartbreaking reality set in... her life was complete and Jesus was calling. It was time to let the children know. I'm sure we all can imagine what it might have felt like to each one of them, when they were struck with the news. Staying strong seems to be an understatement, although, I'm sure in their own individual time they have broke. I know when I got the message to feel free to stop by to say goodbye, I certainly did. I broke for many reasons. It's not that I'm a close friend or that I've known them for long... but it's amazing how quickly and closely these special beneficiaries let you into their lives.
We spend time getting to know them, what their background story is, what means the most to them, what is in their hearts... we have to come up with a wish fulfillment that really means something to them...
Not only do we get to know them, we get to know their families. We get to know some of them with out ever meeting them. We also get to know those closest to them, as they keep us filled in on their medical conditions and update us on anything we'd need to know to plan their wishes.
This is how I got to know Darlene and her family so well. This is why I broke when I heard that it was her last days. But it wasn't just that, it was also that so many women that I care about and love, love her. Friendship is a huge part of my life and means the world to me... I just couldn't imagine how they were feeling, facing the loss of their friend. Then of course, I thought of the children. I don't know many people who think of children who either face loosing or loose their parents and don't break down crying.
I struggled with whether or not to go over to say goodbye. I wasn't family, I wasn't a close friend... is that appropriate? The more I thought and prayed about it the more I realized... even if I'm feeling strange, God is telling me I need to go. Maybe it's not to say goodbye, but maybe it's to pay respect to the family. What ever it is... God wants me to go.
3 of us went the next day. We brought flowers and the DVD from Stars of the Valley. We were welcomed in and even sent upstairs to see her. It ended up meaning a lot to Scott and the kids. They were happy to see us and when we went up to see Darlene, although her eyes were closed, once Scott told her we were there, with all her effort, she opened them to see us. We shared about 10 to 15 minutes of precious, heart warming time with her and Scott. Him adoring her and tapping the tiny sponge with water on it to her beautiful lips, then wiping away the excess, telling her she's as breath taking as she was the day he met her... every moment cherished.
The time came for us to go... but there was a relationship yet to build on... their middle daughter, light in spirit, easily attached... asked me to stay, but when I couldn't, asked to go with me. I obliged with the blessing from Scott and the next 6 hours I had a new little friend! :)
Its divine how God works... offering moments of sharing between her and I. I could tell her desire to just be happy again in everything she said. The past 8-9 months have been life changing for their family and she had already lost her mommy as she knew her, for the cancer, doctors and hospital had taken her from them each day. Up until just days ago, she thought her mommy was getting better. What does it mean now that she knows she's not? It means... well... what does it mean to any of us? I think it's hard to know, until we know. And then, when we know, we don't feel it all at once... and then, when we feel it we get mad and then we get sad and then we are confused and then we can cry and remember. For sure, the time will come that this little girl will feel what it feels like to loose the closest person in her life. But until she has to, I think she doesn't want to. She yearns to get away, get out of the "sad house" full of people she knows and doesn't know. She seems to want to escape to a "happy place" as often as she can. But when she does sit with her mom, like I saw when we were in the room... she holds her hand, paints her nails and talks in her sweet and cheerful way. Offering her mommy, the little girl she has raised for the past 12 years.
I'm grateful for the connection God gave me to her. I don't have girls in my home on a regular basis, so once in a while, when she wants to escape... I'll enjoy having a little girl around! And hopefully, as time goes on and after her mommy has made her place in eternity, I can help be one of the many women figures in her life.
I learned something this day... I learned that even when things don't feel right or comfortable, but you feel God telling you to do it anyways... he has something in store for you and others that you don't even realize. It was a blessing that I went to Darlene's that Thursday afternoon, it was a blessing for the family, but most of all, it was a blessing for me. My life was enriched forever.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Beautiful beach day almost gone bad. ...

Dad decided for his birthday that he wanted to spend the day at the beach with his daughters and grandkids, so we picked Huntington since Nicole was coming down from santa Barbara and had to leave for home by 7pm.
Cami and dad went early.  Cami had read up on the info at the beach,  how to reserve a fire pit and what location was best.  So,  they arrived about 10am. Dad had the idea to make a flag. .. 10ft tall,  so all could see (that it was his birthday!  Haha). Cami made the actual flag it of a pillow case and painted,  "happy birthday papa/daddy". We all found it hysterical that he wanted her to make it,  but let me tell you,  it was a great idea!
Not only did they place the flag in the selected spot,  but brandi arrived moments later (spotting the flag) and they decided to place her folding table by the fire pit to hold it for later.  (We had the kids who wanted to play in the water all day,  so we couldn't hang by the fire pit or we couldn't have kept an eye on them in the water.)  Of course,  Brandi,  being very much like her daddy,  had her name on the bottom of the table,  so there is no question whose it is. ...
Cousin David Sr. And I arrived about an hour or 2 later.  Cami had given detailed directions as to their exact location,  but there was no need.  We could see the 10ft happy birthday flag from the main street! Hahaha
I was in charge of the meat and condiments,  and what ever I wanted to drink.  Of course I can never decide,  so I had 4 -8 packs of different drinks! I had bought a bigger ice chest because I needed it,  but boy does it fit lots of heavy items! In addition to the drinks,  I had plenty of ice,  frozen hamburgers,  2 grande packs of quater pound hot dogs and more! I quickly found out that this particular ice chest,  full to the brim,  did NOT roll in the sand! Between the 4 of us,  and no one realizing we had arrived yet,  we were carrying 2 8ft surfboards,  ice chest plum full,  2 storage boxes full of food and toys,  my purse,  2 Beach chairs and Daves bag. A video might not have even done justice to the comedy of the effort to do it all in 1 trip.  I'm that person. ... groceries,  luggage,  what ever,  I will destroy my body, fingers,  anything in the way. .. to not make more then 1 trip!
Fortunately,  Brandi and dad caught wind that we arrived and saved us from the potential disaster that was about to strike!
Nicole arrived about 30 minutes later and our group was complete!
So much fun! A Day like we used to have when we were kids. ...  We went to the beach as a family almost every Sunday in the summer after church! That was the first time in over 20 years that dad had all of us girls together with him at the beach!
He was set on playing with the Grand kids. ... He built sand castles,  played in the water,  rode bogie board, helped the kids to surf,  played catch. .. a dream day for him! Moms, aunties and uncles got in the action by playing football. ... well,  actually,  we played monkey in the middle! Total blast. ... that is until we looked over at our claimed fire pit and it was being taken over. ... including using our table!
There were 3 girls sitting there with stuff all around them,  Boldly using brandi's folding table! When dad realized what was going on,  he did what any leader of the family would do. ... He began marching over to let these girls know THIS FIRE PIT WAS TAKEN!
2 grandkids followed for"back up".
When dad returned,  he informed us that he politely explained to the girls that he had arrived early to claim the pit and that was his table marking the spot. They understood and said they would just stay until we were ready to use it.  Fair enough.  So we continued our game for a little longer. 
Us old folk started dying off. .. kenny's knee hurt,  Cami's back hurt,  dad was tired,  Brandi and I had to pee... ya,  We're old! So bran and I took off towards the potty when we noticed that more kids had shown up at the pit, boys. We could tell the girls were explaining their encounter with dad and then we see the boys start moving Brandis table! !! They scooted it out inch by inch as if the farther away the table got,  the less "claimed" the pit was! Since we had to pee, we sent Logan,  who was following us,  to go tell dad and the gang what was going on. 
When bran and I started back from the toilets,  we saw dad,  Kenny,  3 of our kids and cami matching towards the fire pit.  Brandi said that we should go with.  I hate confrontation,  but then I realized,  dad is 75, 2 heart surgeries and brain surgery,  he doesn't need to get excited over these punks! So I toughened up and agreed and we met the gang at the pit. 
Would you believe when dad explained what he had told the girls,  these teenage punks argued?  They told him that there was nothing claiming the pit and that they thought the table was just "left" there! Dad told them he got there at 10am to hold the spot so he and his grandkids could roast hot dogs and marshmallows for his birthday! One kid got feisty and argued with dad and that was when tempers flared! Dad pointed at the kid and firmly said,  "don't argue with me" and that's when I chimed in,  "come on you guys,  he's 75, it's his birthday,  this is all he wanted. .. give me a break!" One kid says,  "I'm sorry,  but we didn't know" "bull you didn't know! " I said,  "my dad talked to those girls over there and I saw you guys start moving the table!" So another kid says, "prove its your table" (ya,  the nerve!) Well,  thank God it was brandi's table! Kenny flipped it over,  and there was the name,  "MacMillan". (If it was mine,  we would have had to brawl). So the kid shrugs his shoulders,  another one says "fine" and another apologizes.  Whatever jerks! Get a 75 year old man all worked up cuz you think you're entitled to the world! ? Kids these days!  My adrenaline spiked and I believe as did my sisters and brother in law! I can't believe the audacity! So,  they agreed to move and we realized it was time for us to do the same.  You've never seen a team move faster then we did in that moment.  Kids of all ages grabbing things of all sizes and dragging,  pulling,  sliding across what felt like miles of soft,  deep sand! But we did it,  in about 10 minutes we were filling the pit with wood from the back of my truck and starting to roast dinner! We had some good laughs reflecting on the past half hour and how dad was ready to fight the 19 year old punk! We ended up enjoying the rest of our evening. ... one of the punks, as they left,  came over and apologized to dad.  It was very nice,  so I guess I should remove the "punk" label from him... But I could transfer it double to his friend who we heard say,  "you don't need to apologize!" They say you get what you give. ... Oh,  that kids got something coming to him. ... Sorry I won't be there to enjoy it!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

May 17th...

jammed packed day it was on Friday, May 17th! First! it was my Daddy's 75th birthday! Always a great day when someone is celebrated! Especially someone you love! I didn't celebrate right away... Luca had a field trip to Riley's Farm up in Yucipa.
Brenda and I planned to go together, since parents were allowed to meet the buses up at the farm. I had no idea what the place was, I'd never heard of it. Anyways, back to Brenda... unfortunately, the day before, Brenda's son Marco was hanging from a tree on the playground and slipped and literally cracked his head open. Hours and an emergency room visit later, he got 12 staples in his adorable little head. Needless to say, that took Brenda out of the plans for Friday's Field Trip! :( We didn't know for sure though, until Friday morning. He was going to play it by ear. Poor baby Friday morning was sleeping when it was time to get to the school. I had told Luca that I wasn't going to drive up alone, so if Brenda wasn't going, I wouldn't be. Well... that was fine until Brenda WASN'T going, that is when Luca called me SELFISH!!! Of all the things!!! Well, I heard his underlying words and that was, "Mom, I'm disappointed, I was really looking forward to you going, and I already told all my friends you were going". Good thing I can read between the lines!!! So, what else was there to do, but go?
So into my little Fiat 500 I got, put the top down and sunglasses on! I had an hour and a half drive into the hills and I was going in style!!!
We arrived at this incredible location that looked like a movie set based in the colonial days. In fact, it is used as a set for a TV show!!! Everyone dressed the part, speaking the part, acting the part. They put the kids right into the program of teaching them at stations, how everything worked "back then". They learned about the guns used in battle (using sticks to simulate the guns), they learned about the games that were played with wood, rocks, etc., they learned MANNERS... such a great station!!!! They learned how to cook and clean (briefly) and finally, they learned about how to go to battle. It was actually really neat. I loved the speech the owner/founder gave the kids at the end, expressing his love for our for fathers, our country, our soldiers and our freedom. He cried, he made me cry and I realized why he created this farm.











The parents lined up to take home their famous home made apple pies! I think I waited in line for over a half hour! What a great trip! I would go there again!
So, homeward bound I was, alone again for an hour and a half. Enjoying the wind in my hair and jammin to my Air 1 radio station!
We got to the school just in the nick of time... school let out minutes before we arrived. I grabbed the boys and we headed home to grab my mother in law and some wine and head over to my sister Cami's house for Dad's birthday dinner! And what a dinner it was! Each and every one of us had an entire crab to ourselves! And there were 8 of us (originally)! Turns out Logan doesn't like crab... but LUCA! well he pretty much ate his entire crab! Cami, Dad and Cousin Dave ate my body (oh gosh, that doesn't sound right!) and any others who didn't like that part. At the end of our crab feast, my nephew and his girlfriend showed up and THEY shared an entire crab! Then, Alex popped in and HE TOO ate a crab! That was 10 crabs that night!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!!!

Talking to his sister Annette in Rhode Island


Alex showing up wasn't as simple as him just coming by and eating a crab! We got almost an entire hour of a comedy show! He was explaining to us about one of his new hires and a certain way this person carries themselves that bothers Alex. He went on to demonstrate, explain and relay his demands for a different way for this person to carry themselves. He had us in stitches!!! Dad and I were actually crying laughing. It's not only WHAT Alex says, but HOW he says it. If you've ever heard him tell a story... he's witty, blunt, ITALIAN.... and he usually SAYS what the rest of us only WISH we could say!!!!
What a fun way to end this FUN FILLED day!!!! Dad thoroughly enjoyed his dinner celebration... as did we all!!! AND... he had round 2 waiting for him the very next day!!!! (do we see a trend here in the Comella family birthdays???? hahhaah.... )

Monday, May 20, 2013

I'm not superstitious, but Monday was the 13th!

Oh,  how I didn't know what this day held for me! A beautiful Monday morning,  a few things on my agenda. .. First was to return the diner booths that we borrowed from our restaurant equipment wholesaler in Corona. 
You would think my husband would've loaded them in the truck for me,  but he was in a funk,  and he knows I'm capable.  (Sometimes it's great to be a"super woman" and not need help doing anything. ... Or being able to do so much... But other times it is a complete curse! This is one of those times!)
So I called our worker to come help me,  after all, I couldn't do it in my own! So we loaded all 4 booths with thier cushions.  I still had to shower,  so I asked him to strap them down. "Of course", he said. 
So,  worry free,  I went to get ready.  An hour later I jumped in the truck and headed down,  first stop,  gas.
As I came down my Hill,  I thought to myself that I forgot to check and make sure he tied down the booths.  Is Ok,  I'll check when I stop for gas.  And I did.  I saw the rope wrapped several times around the booths. Not clear exactly where underneath they are strapped, I shook them and they didn't move. 
Confident, I got on the freeway and started down the 15 and got 1 mile when I felt the truck jerk. I looked in my rear view mirror and my heart dropped! I saw an entire booth in the middle of the slow lane sitting upright! There were 2 cushions sprawled across the shoulder and cars were unexpectantly coming around the curve right up on it ALL!!!!!!! In order to miss the booth, they had to veer quickly to the right, beyond the shoulder to miss the cushions, into the dirt!!!! I watched in horror as I called Alex. He told me he'd come and I hung up the phone. Just then, a truck pulled over behind me. The man was on his cell phone, not getting out of his truck. I was panicking, watching each car or semi truck whip around what could've been their death trap. I couldn't watch any longer so I climbed across the center console to the passangers seat (I was parked too close to traffic to get out on my side) and I exited the truck. I walked close to the man's truck that was parked behind me. His window was down, but he didn't look my way. So, I did what I thought the right thing to do was... I couldn't sit there and watch people almost crash and get killed every second any longer.... I had to go move the booth, even if it was dangerous and life threatening. So, I started running down the freeway in my sundress and flip flops! I got a few yards down and I heard, "hey lady!" I turned and the man from the truck was motioning me to move away from the freeway. "I have to move the booth out of the lane!" I yelled back. "Get away!" He yelled! I started walking towards him as he was walking towards me... I approached him on the verge of tears... "I can't let someone die by hitting the booth! I have to move it!" "Hi, I'm Steve... you need to calm down and get in your car. It's an accident and there's nothing you can do. I called the CHP and they are on their way. They will take care of it." "But look! Every car that comes around the bend is almost hitting it or flipping from veering so far into the shoulder that they hit the dirt!" "It's okay, you can't go move it. If debris flies from that thing, you could be killed. Go get in your car." "Okay" I said reluctantly. I couldn't watch, but I couldn't stop turning around. Steve (a fireman) started walking towards the booth. No sooner did he start walking and a semi truck came around the corner, hit the booth and demolished the thing! It was in pieces! That was exactly the time, if Steve hadn't stopped me, that I would've been at the booth, trying to move it. God had MANY angels there in that moment! Steve kept walking and the CHP arrived, slowing traffic to a stop. Another CHP arrived and got out to kick debris from the lanes. Steve helped. Once it was cleared from the lanes, the CHP released the traffic and all were on their merry way.... never realizing the danger that lurked just moments before! The CHP went back to his car and Steve walked to me. "Well, you're free to go. No one was hurt and everything is taken care of!" "that's it?" I asked. "Yes, unless you want to talk to them?" "Not if they don't want to talk to me!" then a CHP pulled up. "Is that your booth?" he asked Steve. "No, it's mine" I chimed in. "Ok, well, everything is fine and no one was hurt, have a good day" "that's it?" I asked him... "that's it" he replied! WOW.... was that a miracle to say the least? 
Just as we were loading into our cars, Steve and I, Alex pulled up. Not having a CLUE what I had just went through, he salvaged what was able to be salvaged, which was 1 cushion and loaded it on the truck. He asked why I didn't tie them down and I explained that they were... he, in disbelief, told me to go home, hopped into his car and left. I sat for a second on the side of the freeway, still shaken up, without a strap and no idea how to go. I decided to take the off ramp that was right in front of me and down the street from my sisters house where my Dad lives. I slowly drove the couple miles to their house to get straps that I'm sure he had. when I pulled up, my sister pulled up at the same time. I called my dad and with him on the phone and her in my window, I explained what just happened. My dad immediately came home, strapped the remaining booths into the truck SO SECURE and took me inside to help me calm down. Dad told me to wait until the morning to return the booths and he'd go with me. I liked that idea. Once I felt calm, I went about my day, running my errands and grabbing the boys.... ending up at home where I realized I wasn't so calm. Inside I was reliving the second longest 20 minutes of my life (the other time was when I thought my Dad was dying in my living room). It wasn't until I shared with my husband exactly what I went through and he was able to console me, that I felt a little better. But every time I have talked about this since, my neck tenses and my nerves go into high gear. The truth of the matter is, that, the miracle I witnessed that day was a clear vision of angels at work. The cars were their pawns and Fireman Steve was sent personally for me. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Arriving home from San Diego by 8:15am was the kick off of a LONG day!
First, Logan had a soccer game. He was up when I got home... excited and dressed for his game. He was at football practice the night before, so he missed out on the surprise that whisked me away while he was gone. He was crazy curious to find out all the details... as I filled him in on MOST ;)
After his ten o'clock game... it was time to go home and get some things done before the boys City Championship Football games. Time flew by and before we knew it, they were dressing for their games. Logan started at 6, but had to arrive at 5. It was uneventful, as his team slaughters EVERY team they play. Logan had no action, which was a bummer, but they did beat the other team by A LOT. 
Luca's game 2 hours later, on the other hand, was exciting! Ahead by 2 touchdowns in the first quarter, we held them until half time. Then, they scored 2 on us, but we were ahead by an extra point! Luca was amazing on defense.... capturing flags like a lion! 4th quarter rolls around and we just have to hold them. BUT... in the last 5 minutes of the game.... they intercept and gain possession of the ball, which ended in them getting another TD and winning the game! :( BIG FAT BUMMER!!!! 
We rolled out of there by 9:30. I hit the wall big time before Luca's game ever started!!! I got my little energy rush for his game, then it was home and down for the count.... Forty just isn't twenty... is it?

Sunday was Mothers Day... yet another eventful day! Will I EVER get to slow down????? Since Mother's Day is so busy at the restaurant, I've created a tradition of spending my day with the boys. Last year, Angelo's wife Ericka and I, planned a wonderful day for ourselves... a picnic at a winery with our kids, then, we dropped them off to her ex and my dad (not together) and we had a lovely get away dinner at Public House.
Ericka texted me to see if we could reenact last years BEST Mother's Day... and THAT's what we did... well, kinna...
I invited my Mother in Law who was happy to join us.... we went to Baron's and loaded up on every single yummy thing we could fit into the basket.... we loaded our cars and headed out to find a winery without horses, since Luca is allergic, without a restaurant, cuz it's too busy at those that have one... and one that would let us bring our own picnic...with live music. I'm happy to report...we found that with Lorimar!
So, we ordered a bottle of white, sat on the patio and ate... and ate... and ate..... it was HOT. Super hot! Water was like GOLD... but more then that... the ice that one of the employees brought me was PLATINUM! As their live music set up and did their sound check... we cooled down with some of the best pieces of ice I've had in a long time! hahaha! Just cuz it was SO HOT... the ice was out of this world! ;) 
Unlike last year, after about four hours, we had to go our separate ways. Ericka and I. Her kids were going to their dad's and she was going to relax in peace and quiet... I, on the other hand, was being taken to see my HOT, STUD Boyfriend in his new release.. Ironman 3!!!! BEST MOTHER's DAY GIFT EEEEVVVVEEEERRRR!!! It was so cute, Luca pulled out $40 at lunch and said, "mom, we are taking you to see your boyfriend" I must have jumped out of my seat... his whit, his humor, his sarcasm, his charm... OH how I LOVE Tony Stark!!!! Wish I was Pepper!!!!! He compares to my husband though, I have to say... mine's got whit, humor, sarcasm and charm! My real life Tony Stark! ;) ANYWAYS... we went to the 4 o'clock showing and stocked up on popcorn... sat in the center top, where I love to be and watched almost 2 hours of HOTNESS!!!!
After, we went home, gathered the Italian's for Mimi and Beatrice's last night with us for this trip, and headed down for Mother's Day Dinner at Gourmet Italia!
Alex had set up a table for us... at the end of the busiest day of the year! they had been on a wait since they opened at 11am!!!
We were, of course, treated like royalty and ate like kings and queens! Alex surprised me with some fun house oriented gifts and his mom with a great Guess bag that Mimi picked out! 
what a beautiful evening of celebration! Another great year of enjoying the day set aside for Mom's!!! 

Good thing the Mother's Day evening was great... because what Monday had in store for me was ANYTHING but great....
What did Friday hold for me???? Well... there were subtle clues... but I did NOT KNOW what was planned for me for the afternoon! I walked into my house and 7 of my girlfriends walked down my hallway and yelled "SURPRISE!!!" I screamed with surprise and got all excited! I had no idea what the plan was, but I liked what I saw!!!!
Gina and Brenda yell for me to go get my bags packed! "We're going over night and don't worry! Alex knows!" I started jumping up and down and clapping, overjoyed! I didn't care where I was going, I was excited that this was happening to ME! :)
So I packed my bags and we were off!
Headed to San Diego!!! We pulled into the Hard Rock Hotel in Downtown!!!! What a beautiful hotel! We headed up to our room and the girls pulled out some "fun time" and then we began to get ready! I took about 5 whole minutes... Brenda was right behind me... but the rest of the girls!!!!!! TOOK FOREVER!!!! So I had a blast snapping photos, videoing us singing along to some of my favorite music and laughing hysterically....



Once we were ALL ready... we headed to Dick's Last Resort. Why they chose there for ME? I have no idea! I guess the theme there is "rude" and "crude"... and oh they were! 3 of us ended up with strange hats on our heads... Brenda bought some interesting undergarment and my dessert came as a surprise from behind and what it was.... well, let's just say I wanted NOTHING to do with it!!!!! HAHAHAHA I did enjoy some crab legs though!
After an interesting dinner, we headed down 5th street in Gaslamp to Shout House... a dueling piano bar. When we arrived, they told us standing room only.. but we went ahead and went in and as luck would have it... a bachelorette party got up from a front and center table and we were ON IT!
What a riot!!! We had so much fun singing along and laughing!!! Of course, I was called up on stage with a $20 song request.... mentioning that it was my fortieth! Of course, they couldn't just sing to me! They had to start with a tambourine... then they kept increasing the size of my musical instrument until finally I was riding a wooden horse and shaking the SHAKE WEIGHT!!!!! The girls got a big kick out of it!!!! I was DYING!!! LAUGHING of course!!!
As the night went on, we had REALLY bad service, but I can thank her... I was only able to get 1 drink! Hahahha!!! That apparently wasn't the case for MANY other people in the place!!! These 2 girls we ended up calling "The Hemet Girls" were the focus of our entertainment as we closed the night! Almost dressed as twins... they were both in extremely tight colored pants with VERY interesting patterned tops. They went to the same "hair place" and seemed to really enjoy lollipops! They were definitely not what we would call "in shape" but boy.. they MUST have seen something different then we did, when they looked in the mirror. And I'm not being mean... I'm not talking about their looks, I'm talking about their package... they danced like they were the sexiest women alive!!! It was SO funny!!!! We had more laughs with them!!! THEN... one of the last songs of the night... they grabbed MEEEEE up to dance the sexy with them!!!!!!! Of course, I obliged getting on stage, but dancing between them WAS NOT going to happen!!! I just kept a smile on my face and my body respectfully in a different zone then them. They just smiled and danced their "sexy" dance and then were so sweet at the end to say thank you to me for joining them!!!! hahhahhaha!!!
Finally, the Shout House shut down and we were pooped! So, back to the hotel we headed... immediately reminiscing about the funny occurrences of our evening!
Gina and I took the BEYOND uncomfortable L shaped faux leather couch that was too short on both of our ends.... laying our heads on the faux leather pillows that were flat as pancakes! Brenda and Marija scored the bed... not sure how THAT happened... and the other 4 split between the 2 air mattresses.... HORRIBLE night sleep!!! Especially for those who were awakened by the 3 who decided to go out for a midnight snack and come back in the room thinking it was the middle of the day! :)
The next morning... Gina's alarm went off at about 6am... for those of us who were leaving early to make it back for kids sports!
One last photo of the AMAZINGLY FUN TIME in SD with the gals... Good bye fun time! 40 was the BEST birthday EVER!!!!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

So, the party was AMAZING... but there was NO TIME TO RECOVER!!! I cleaned the first half of the day the next day, with Lauren, Marcella and Carlos... lots to do.... lots! Then spent the second half of the day getting the 40ft motorhome we rented stocked and packed with everything we'd need to live in it for 2 whole days at the river!
Yes, Alex wanted to take his daughter, niece and parents to the river, but that was the only available days before Mimi had to leave, so of course I went along with going! That's how I roll!!!
The camper doesn't fit up our driveway, so everything had to be loaded in the gator up at the house and then driven down to the motorhome. I did it with the boys in 4 trips. Where was the rest of the family you ask? I wondered the same thing! ;)
I then needed to run a couple errands and shop for the trip. Came back, finished loading the motorhome and was absolutely wiped OUT! Went to bed for the evening... had a big trip ahead of me!
We woke up and got going in the morning... our morning... around 10 I believe. We drove the 215 freeway, stopped at the base of Cahone pass. Yes, we ate there... McDonalds!!! Pretty funny seeing the Italians order and eat at McDonald's! Back on the road and headed to the gnarly part of the drive! We come upon the desert and the winds had to be about 30 miles per hour!!!! I was so tense driving the house on wheels that I was a total WRECK! Thankfully my Daddy was in the passenger seat to keep me calm and company!
4 hours later and wound up like a twist tie, we arrived! Nice and hot in Needles, CA!
We had a great time in Needles... sun was in and out, but it was pretty warm and the river was vacant! We immediately went out on the boat, after all, that's why we were there! Alex is so great about taking the boat out as often as everyone wants. Beatrice, Luca and Logan went on the "tube" as we call it. Beatrice had never done anything like that and she had a blast!! Her smile was bigger then I'd ever seen it in the 11 years I've known her! :)
Day 2 Alex and Logan skied! I pulled Alex, I'm getting good at that! :) There was one point that Alex and the Italians were sleeping (as they do after eating lunch) and Dad, the boys and I were down at the beach. All of a sudden we realized the tube was floating down river! Alex specifically told us not to disturb him, so the 4 of us jumped in the boat, I started her up and we were off to rescue the tube! While we were out, we decided to go for a cruise! Came back after a half hour or so and no one ever knew we were gone!
OH! I forgot to tell you about my first night sleep! Well, all of ours... we got 2 cabins and then we had the motorhome. Alex's parents stayed in one cabin, Dad slept in another, Luca fell asleep in the passengers seat sitting up after watching his movie. Logan asleep on the love seat, Beatrice and Mimi in the miserable pull out couch and Alex and I in the bed... of which we didn't realize had sleep number, so he was miserable sleeping. I was fine until at 3am Alex woke me up to get after me for how I let Luca fall asleep... actually one of the most comfortable in the group! Dad said he felt like he was sleeping on a board and mimi and beatrice felt like they were sleeping on springs. I woke up to move Luca to appease Alex and moved Logan in bed with him, Luca to the love seat and I took his place in the passengers seat! That lasted a couple hours until I was kinked and cramped.... so I got the cushions from the pull out couch and put them on the dash board then curled up and attempted to go to sleep. Ya, that didn't work. I tossed and turned with pain in my hips, until I had to actually wake up and get up.
The next night HAD to be different! Well, it wasn't for my inlaws, they had to complaints! It wasn't for Mimi and Beatrice... there was no other option! Alex figured out the sleep number deal and got it to a comfortable place.... so did I... Luca I put in the love seat and Logan at the foot of our bed... I kinda closed the pop out and connected the bed to the dresser top and put his bed there. Worked for a little until Alex kept kicking him, so he moved him up with us. At least it was better then the night before! OH! and Dad took the cushions that I had slept on and used them on his bed. He said it was MUCH better, which made it probably about a 5 out of 10! hahahha!
We had a blast! Then, it was time to go... Tuesday we left at about 4pm. The same stressful drive home... wind, uneven pavement and 40ft monster!!!!!
My masseuse Mariah happened to call me that day to see if I wanted her... oh how I did.... but I couldn't be sure of our arrival time home, so I reluctantly declined :( Lucky for me, she called again the next day and I got that OH SO NEEDED stress RELIEF!!!!
Wednesday we cleaned the camper and returned it. Visited my sister Cami who had had a rough weekend. It was nice to have her around to be able to pop in! (She moved almost a year ago from WA).
Thursday was my Grammie's birthday! She was at my mom's with my Aunt too! SO! With Mother's Day a couple days away... I surprised them all with the delivery of flowers! And balloons for Grammie! ;)
Mimi, Mirella, Beatrice and I went to Hollywood! Had to take Bea on her first trip to the US!!! We didn't have much time and the traffic was bad, so we opted to go the Mann's Chinese Theater and Madam Tussous Wax Museaum! It was so much fun! We took TONS of photos... my favorites were me hugging my boyfriend "Ironman" and kissing hottie Bruce Willis on the cheek!!!! Silly, I know! But the photos look real!  We finished the fun at Hard Rock Cafe and then raced back home to grab the kiddos from school!
Fun week... but that's before I realized what awaited me Friday......

My 40th Birthday week!

May 2nd is my birthday, every year. BUT! This year is a milestone birthday... I'm 40!!! So! I decided it was time to jump back into my blog and share my life's journey's with others. Why would I do that you ask? Well, I feel that my life is not my own. I am one who doesn't mind laughing at myself, sharing my ups and downs and who wants to make a difference in the lives of others. Blogging is just another tool I can use to reach out and touch others in one way or another.
I am a story teller. Not a story teller of made up stories, but of my life. I am detailed, so detailed, that you will feel like you went through each event with me! I hope you enjoy and I hope that I can offer you a laugh, a smile, a tear, a hope... what ever it is that will contribute to the benefit of your life!
So.... on to my stories....
My 40th birthday was much anticipated... by ME! I had been anticipating this celebration for as long as I can remember! The only problem is that I couldn't figure out exactly what my DREAM PARTY would entail. I'd never had a huge birthday bash... well, I guess my 17th birthday would count as the closest... a 50's party in the gym at SCEGA... me and my friends lip sync'd to "My Boyfriends Back" and we took couple pictures, dances and had great diner food. About 30 people came.
Other then that, I hadn't had a true BASH! I thought about what type of party would suit me. I started really thinking about it over a year ago. I thought of Hollywood, but realized that every February at Stars of the Valley, the event my charity organization (Charity for Charity) puts on. It's definitely the dream red carpet Hollywood party and so, that party is already an annual event. Then I thought about a Luau... but I'd want that at the beach, with a roasted pig and all, but that would be a big project that we had no business taking on... besides, EVERYONE has luau's. Then I thought it would be a dream to be the singer of my own concert. Afterall, the guests would HAVE to scream for me... it's my birthday party! BUT, once I mentioned it a few times, I realized that it'd be cool and fun for the first couple songs, but then, how BORING for the guests after that! It's not like I am a real singer or famous or anything... that idea got shot down... I agreed.
Finally, I thought... "what is something I always dreamed of being?" That's when it hit me! Sandra Dee from GREASE! I have always dreamed of being "sweet" Sandy then coming out as "hot" Sandy! That's when it was decided! That's what I'll do! Have a GREASE party! Not just any Grease party... this one was going to be cast! Everyone closest to me will have a role. I didn't want to act out the movie... but I did want to have everyone dressed and I did want to lip sync to some of the songs!!!!
So I started planning it! A year ago! I purchased my Sandy costumes, and Alex's Danny costume...


then started assigning the cast! It fell into place perfectly!!!
First, I cast the TBirds and Pink Ladies: From Left: LB as Kenickie, Brenda as Rizzo, Dan as Putzie, Brandi as Jan, Me, Alex, Angelo as Doodie, Ericka as Frenchy, Cami as Marty and Kenny as Sonny!

Then I cast Gina as Patty Simcox and Pat as Tom "The Jock"

Next... the cheerleaders!
From Left Top: Sister Lauren, Kam, Alison, GINA, Daughter Mimi, Niece Beatrice (my niece), Angela
From Left Bottom: Leah, Jen, ME (as sweet Sandy), Sister Kelsey, Michelle (not pictured - Cousin Gina)
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I didn't stop there!! I also cast the entire Rydell High Staff as well as the Teen Angel, Frankie Avalon!

Nephew Nicolas as an Auto Shop student, Grammie as Mrs. Murdock, Daddy as Frankie Avalon, Deborah as Cha Cha, Me and Alex, Alex's Mom as the nurse, Auntie Jane as Blanche, Uncle Chuck as Vince Fontain, Mommy as Principal McGee and Step Dad Jeff as Coach Calhoun!
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Oh and let's not forget the Teen Angel scene!!!
Cousin Kristen, Niece Mackenzie, Daddy as Frankie Avalon, Ericka as Frenchy, Niece Molly and Niece Mary!
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Here's a photo of Danny, Sandy, Cheerleader Mimi and FUTURE TBIRDS Luca and Logan!!!
4 out of my 6 sisters were here!!
Lauren, Brandi, me, Cami and Kelsey!
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And here's the entire cast!
what a party!!! This was just the cast... then there was the guests!!! Each one dressed so cute and so GREASE!
The cast went above my expectations and totally Flash Mob style lip synced to all the special songs and ALEX TOTALLY DID THE ENTIRE SCENE OF "I GOT CHILLS" with me!!!!
We even had the DINGER from the end of the movie and people were trying to hit the bell all night long! 
After the movie ended on the big screen, we sang Happy Birthday, played the video my Mom made of me Through The Years and danced the night away!!! 
What a party! What a night! What a cast! What a hubby!!!
I got lots of special gifts, although my best presents were the presence and participation of everyone!!!
Thank you to Bill, who video'd, Nicole who took all the photos, Devaughn who DJ'd, Yan and Jen who bartended, Natalie who hosted, Cousin David Sr. who was our GRILLMASTER, Kianna and Katelyn who ran the SODA SHOP, Paul, who made my banners, Babe, Angelo, Mom, Leah, Lauren, Dad and Cami who helped set up! 
I love you all!!!